Thursday January 25, 2008

It is 4:14am and I have been up every hour since I went to bed at 11:30pm. Anne keeps crying. I think she is teething. I put her in bed with me at 2:30am after walking the halls with her and she fell asleep only to be awakened my Ellen at 3:30am trying to get in my bed because she was cold. I laid by Ellen until I thought she was asleep and carefully snuck back into my bed to not wake up Anne. Just as I got settled Ellen cried out for me again. I get there as quick as possible and she needs a drink. She woke up Mark who shares a bed with her and he wanted me to take him to the bathroom. I finally got them all settled and back to sleep and decide to go back to bed. Anne is now in a deep enough sleep that I transfer her back to her crib and get back in bed. Jerry is breathing too loudly and I can’t turn my mind off because I am teaching my institute class tonight and things keep popping in my head. I try every possible relaxation exercise I can think of only to be interrupted by Jerry’s watch alarm going off. Not that he needs to get up at 4am he just never re-set it from when he needed to be at work early. After 3 times of that I gave up and here I am. Have you ever had a night like that?

One thing that occurred to me is how different my perspective is when I have the spirit with me. In order to teach the institute class I have to have it with me all the time. I wasn’t even bugged that I was getting woken up every hour and couldn’t get back to sleep. As I was up for the third time it occurred to me how grateful I am to be able to be a parent which requires sacrifice. For me it’s sacrificing sleep and being happy to do so in order to serve my children. Since we are here to learn of Christ and become like Christ I feel like sacrificing in parenthood helps me become more like Him.

I will be relieved when my institute lesson is over. There is not much down time as I am always thinking of the next one. I look forward to getting more comfortable in teaching so I don’t feel like I am speaking in Stake Conference every week. I enjoy talking to Jerry about my lessons. I know secretly that he would LOVE this calling. I tease him that I got it because I am obedient in reading my scriptures. The real reason is that I need to study and know the scriptures better.

Glenn had a scout camp out on Friday night. He invited his friend David to go along. It was at a cabin on Weyerhaeuser land that has a private lake. They had a great time cross country skiing to the lake and then broke a hole through the ice to fish but had no luck. Jerry keeps trying to get me up there. I would like to go and see if it is a good place to take the family on vacations.

Emily was excited to attend Young Women’s New Beginnings night. She could hardly wait. When we got to the church she almost took off without Jerry and I. I had to let her know it was nice to walk in together. She is enjoying all the changes from girl to young woman. She is already and has been talking about her birthday. I have to remind her to be happy where she is and make the most of it.

John has been having stomach cramps today. I can tell he feels awful. I wish there was something I could do for him. Unfortunately he has to just work through it. I hope he just throws up to get it over with.

Amy must me growing again because she is getting lots of leg aches. I have never known a child to get more leg aches than her. She has a very low pain tolerance and suffers quite a bit with them. Sometimes I look at her and can’t believe how tall and grown up she is looking all the time.

Mary is taking snack for her class next week. I have been well informed of what she wants to take. She thinks things through and is very persistent until she gets what she wants.

Mark got to go to Cals’ house on Friday and spend the night! I think it was harder on me than him. He had a great time with Cal and we look forward to having Cal come here. I enjoy these cousins being friends.

Ellen has been very cute. I am realizing how much she talks to herself and imaginary play friends. I have not seen the other kids do this. Today she had a stuffed cat hanging out of a drawer by its tail and would walk over to the stairs where she had a little pink dog. She would talk to it and pet it. Thursday she was filling the bathroom sink up and when I turned the water off she had a huge fit talking about ducks. So I turned the water back on and I said “See? No ducks”. She said, “Yes they are right there”. Where she pointed to the bubbles the water made as it came out of the faucet. She has an active imagination.

Anne is getting better at getting her balance. If she is happy she will walk 4-6 steps between us. She will take a couple, correct her balance and take a few more. It is so much fun and John is particularly enjoying this phase of Anne’s development. One of my favorite things about Anne that is particular to her is that when she is happy and excited she will smile a big open mouth smile and squint her eyes and nose up. I can’t give it justice by describing it I will have to get a picture to show you.

At this time of uncertain economic security I am keenly aware of the blessings Heavenly Father pours out onto our family. I hope your lives are going well. I love you and miss you.

Caroline